Bad Behavior by Community Arts Organization Person

[Photowonder2010]

I'd like some advice on how to handle this situation, and will try to keep the story brief & clear as possible........

Nearly 2 yrs ago, started a 4-hr commute at 6AM to accommodate the scheduling needs of this person. Was presenting documentary project to key organization members, in hopes of being asked to present to their 2 sections of youth groups.

All went great, was verbally invited to present to groups, offered grant $ already in place to make the presentations, + travel expenses.

Thru a plethora of repeated e-mails, calls, etc., during the intervening period, my org. contact had various excuses about the groups repeatedly being way behind schedule, serious illness in her family, pregnancy/new baby, etc.

Once again, I was willing to change my trip schedule at the last minute to accommodate her needs, having called her several days prior to my departure last month to check the status of things.

She had a full day prior to my departure during which she was supposed to call me to confirm whether she could fit me in, but instead did not call me until I had already left town & couldn't change my plans.

I called her while on the road to let her know I couldn't make it. She was indignant as she had cancelled another presenter. When I reminded her of our "phone appt" she used her baby as an excuse why, once again, she hadn't kept to a prior agreement--with the usual attitude of her schedule, needs, etc., as being the only ones of import.

PREDICAMENT:

I have just received a foundation grant to make project presentations of the same type as I was supposed to do at this org. It is a specialized topic & there are a limited # of local orgs. where it would be appropriate, and this org. is somewhat prestigious judging by the # of grants they get.

How can I repair my relationship w/this person & organization (whose role in the org's structure I don't know) without being a doormat? How can I approach this organization to present there as part of my own individual grant without bad "advance press" about me being disseminated by her if she should get wind of it?

Thanks for any comments anyone might have on this convoluted situation.

Adrienne Moumin

[Linda Frye Burnham]

Arts administrators are among the most overworked people I know. This goes double for those with extensive family responsibilities, especially new babies. They sacrifice so much and then have to deal with being called "gatekeepers" because they hold the pursestrings to the increasingly few resources in the art world. Remember, she is struggling to keep the doors open, no matter how stable the organization appears from the outside. We all are.

Often artists and administrators find themselves at odds, each thinking the other's job wouldn't exist without their own hard and unselfish work. Be big-hearted, even if you have to swallow your pride. This woman needs tender loving care. It will help enormously to make a personal contact with her, take her to lunch and spend some time getting to know each other. Ask her about her work: what's hard, what makes her happy. Even if she suspects you have ulterior motives, she will appreciate this. On the other hand, SHE may have ulterior motives: Maybe she or somebody else at the venue doesn't really like your work and can't be straight about it. It's important for you to find out. Criticism, even if it is bone-headed, can show you how people might be perceiving you. It's actually a golden opportunity. Let us know how it goes.

And if your nemesis is reading this, lighten up. Obfuscation is the coward's way out of communicating with others, especially in professional relationships. Yikes, I sound like Dear Abby.